Do you remember the song “57 Channels and Nothing’s On”?  Well, now it seems we have 5700 channels and you can bet that at any given time or in any given language you can click to see an episode or spin off of the Real Housewives franchise.  It is television rubbernecking at its worst and a guilty pleasure to many, myself included.

My particular brand of poison is the Beverly Hills franchise, which I have followed from the beginning.  I do dabble in other towns and have a few favs, but it’s the SoCal girls that keep me coming back.  Have you ever wondered, if a franchise came to Middleburg, which characters would be involved?  Let’s speculate.

Middleburg would have a Brandi Glanville for sure.  Brandi is the svelte party-girl who was deeply wounded by a public cheating scandal and divorce.  Deep down, she seems to be a great mom and friend but just comes across poorly after the first sip.  She can often be seen hanging out with Kim Richards, who also can’t hold her alcohol.

A Yolanda Foster (now Hadid) would have to be in the local cast.  She is beautiful inside and out and severely suffering from Lymes Disease.  You know you live in the 20117 when you have tested positive for Lymes.  The struggle is serious and Yolanda has made such positive strides for Lymes awareness, as have many of our local ladies.

Lisa Vanderpump, Bethany Frankel, Vicki Gunvalson and Caroline Manzo are all somewhat cut from the same cloths as entrepreneurial women and Real Housewives.  Middleburg has many of them and we should be proud to claim and broadcast the girl power of local businesswomen.

Karen Huger from the recently launched Potomac franchise is quite the stickler for etiquette, yet she can often been seen lip glossing at dinner.  Middleburg would certainly have a member of the manners police force, but they would know that glossing in public would make Emily Post roll over in her grave.

Everyone on the street in Middleburg knows that there is a significant population of Realtors in town.  There would have to be a Kyle Richards in the local cast: the housewife that is married to a real estate mogul.

Those Jersey housewives are a tough group of girls, and Teresa Giudice can add being part of the chain gang to her rap sheet.   Though I don’t know for certain, I would guess that we have a few jailbirds flying around the ‘burg. 

And last but not least, there would have to be a Nene in the cast.  The sassy housewife with the no-rags to riches story after meeting her wealthy (now ex) husband while working as a stripper.  Nene has charmed fans for 7 seasons with her tell-it-like-it-is attitude that people either love or hate.  She has created a foothold in Hollywood by just being her bold self.

So I guess the next things we need are producers to roll in, observe and choose whom they think would build ratings from our local selection.  Lights, camera, action.